Once again we approach the time of year when the annual "tour" is imminent, and this year's is once again at Hopton, a place which we have visited successfully in past years. I have been pleased to note that many of you that have accompanied us in previous years are once again supporting this highly prestigious event. I would also like to welcome all of you that are travelling with us for the first time, I am sure that you will all find it a valuable and enjoyable experience.
I know that I need not remind you all that on tour each and
every one of us is a representative of Stanford-le-Hope Rugby Club and that we
expect you all to uphold the best traditions and values of the club at all
times.
This year, however, the message that I would like to concentrate upon is my concern for the moral standards that we all portray when away from home and enjoying ourselves. As we well know it is very easy for any of us to let our guard slip when the distractions of alcohol and general fun, games and gaiety are all too readily present. I do hope that the adults among you will set the sort of example in your behaviour that we will obviously expect from all of our younger players. Lets all be proud of the badge and club that we represent and leave our hosts in awe of the great club that you all are part of.
This year the senior committee of the club, like myself have also been concerned about the moral well being of you all. These concerns have been taken very seriously and as a result they have taken the decision that even though it would be of great expense to the club, Dennis Quinn would be approached as to his availability to go to Rome to take "Holy Orders", thereby becoming the sole custodian of moral values for both younger and older members of the club.
Happily Dennis was available and duly dispatched to Rome. His Holiness the Pope himself became totally dumbstruck with regards to Denis's moral fortitude and I'm sure that when the time comes for the Cardinals to name the successor to His Holiness the "Quinn the First" may not be beyond the realms of possibility.
It is now my pleasure to inform you that as from Friday 1st
April 2005, Dennis will officially be ordained as the "Custodian of Moral Values
for Stanford-le-Hope Rugby Club" and from thence forward be known as "Father
Dennis".
Some changes to the normal system of reporting of misdemeanours will obviously have to take place. It will not now be appropriate to just report unacceptable behaviour to Father Dennis at any time. Therefore Father Denis will now take all such reports in the form of "Confession", of course in the strictest of confidence. You will be informed of the times and places of "Confessionals" upon your arrival at Hopton. You will also be informed on a daily basis the times and venues for all court sessions and I would like to remind you all that everyone is required to attend and any absenteeism will render you liable for contempt of court.
May I also remind those of you involved in the "Rory Kidnapping Scandal" last year that Rory was left in your charge to be presented to the court this year. I will expect to see Rory in pristine condition at the first court session......or else!
My personal thanks go to Father Dennis for making such a sacrifice and I would like to finally thank you all for taking part and wish you all a great weekend, I'm sure that 2005 will be the best tour yet.
See you all there!
Hanging Judge Jackson
Lord High Sheriff of Stanford-le-Hope
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